Things that make me laugh…

Natalie Imbruglia at the Secret Policeman’s Ball.

Stick with it. It is mildly amusing.

His Girl Friday

If your area is anything like mine, your local Blockbusters is now a cheap mall called ‘Kwality Goods.’ Presumably, they don’t sell a spell checker in the mall. As a result, I have to find movies that I want to watch online. I figured that if they are not pirated new movies, I’m in the clear. Also, Cary Grant is lovely and everyone should have access to him, regardless of what their Blockbusters was replaced with.  

Alberto Gonzales resigns and hopefully recalls this memory on Monday morning.

Yay.

Monday 13th August

Apologies for my abscene from these pages of late. I’m afraid I have been busy. Fretting mainly, but busy nonetheless. And lacking in ideas. Lots of ideas. I divulge however (actually, I don’t - those apologies and explanations were necessary to make you, the loyal reader, feel like I care about your life and how my writings affect it. Or is that ‘effect’? I’ve always had trouble with that one. Like with Fleetwood Mac and The Carpenters. I always get those two mixed up. Anyway, this is definitely divulging now, so back on with the show). MORE!!!!

Sunday 12th August 2007.

It’s been a while. But absence makes the heart grow fonder, doesn’t it? And a change is as good as the rest, so they say, which is why, dear Patchers, the wind of change is about to caress The Patch. Cliches aside, we have decided to try a different approach in our reporting in the hope that we will return to our former 7-days-a-week-baby glory, filling your lives in ways only we can.

In laymans terms, there will be no ‘days’ for particular subjects anymore, nor will us Patchists be confined to reporting one subject. And we’ll see how that works.

Me, I fancy revisiting my old haunt, Celebrity, today, because Amy Winehouse is troubling me.

Friday 27th - Summer Song Salvation

It may have rained today. A lot. A hella lot. But this week finally saw some sun in this wrecthed summer, and thus I was inspired. Inspired to compile this free 30 song compilation of summer sounds. Yes, just click on the link and follow whatever instructions Send Space give, then upload all those fantastic songs onto your MP3 thingamajig and go for a walk, or climb or a hill, or ride your bike or just lay back and relax with some Malibu and pineapple (a wonderful drink). Here follows a tracklisting and some ponderings.

Friday 20th July - Indian Summer/Mercury Music Prize

Indian Summer

With T in the Park now suffering the way of its big brother, Glastonbury, with ticket prices like gold dust in terms of price and scarcity, and a line-up that reeked just that bit too much of NME five minute wonders, this promising young festival appealed enough to me to make it my musical extravaganza of the summer. But was it worth it? Well, read on if you want to find out. This is a review you know.

Friday 6th July - Smashing Pumpkins’ Zeitgeist

Friday 29th June - My Glastonbury

With my various allergies (stupidly overpriced tickets, huge crowds, hippies, mud, camping, traveling for hours on public transport, being wet and dirty for 5 days street with no hope of a nice warm bubble bath, and Kaiser Chiefs) I did not attend Glastonbury this year. In fact, I have never have done, and I probably never will. It just all seems so irrelevant now. There are many over festivals around the country without nearly the same amount of fuck wit Nathan Barley sorts, and girls aspiring to be Kate Moss in aviator shades and out of place mini-skirts, yet being able to boast a just as impressive line up. Latitude and Connect for two. I myself shall be attending Indian Summer in Glasgow in a couple of weeks where the likes of The Teenagers, Wilco, Flaming Lips and Emma Pollock shall be entertaining me over what I hope shall be a lovely weekend, full of sun, reasonably priced food and gin. Enough of my hopeless romanticism though, here’s how I spent my Glastonbury weekend.

Friday 22nd June

No entry today folks as I’ve spent all of today either fixing the garden, going to the doctors or watching Glastonbury (including the fucking amazing Arctic Monkeys!!). A Certain Romance has just come on now. Full feature on my Glastonbury experience next week. In the mean time, it would be a great help if you could listen to Johnny Remember Me by John Leyton as it is one of the 60s greatest songs and not enough people know about it. Ditto for Jack the Ripper by Screaming Lord Sutch.

Friday 15th June - Luke Pritchard Confirms His Irrelevance

I imagine that this will not come as a shock to most who read this, but as a white, middle class, fairly liberal minded arts student, my newspaper of choice is The Guardian. Free from the horrid sensationalism of the News of the World et al, the insipid human/local interest obsession of the Record, Mirror etc and the dodgy, hypocritical politics of the Mail and the Express, it has come to be somewhat of a bastion of objective, fair reporting that deals with matters that actually matter and news that is actually new. Of course, this is impossible and this idea of The Guardian being somehow superior to all other newspapers of its ilk is just an illusion, with its history of Zionistic bias and altogether smug approach certainly letting it down on numerous occasions. However, I still read it, as it does tend to employ reporters who can write and throws up the odd feature that finds itself to be spirited and imaginative enough as to warrant a thorough reading.

Friday 8th June - For those who know nothing of music…

WARNING. POST CONTAINS HEAVY DOSES OF OPINION. OPINION DISGUISED AS FACT.