The Patch

February 26, 2007

Sunday 25th February 2007

Filed under: Celebrity/TV — Phil @ 10:43 pm

God dammit, I can’t even get this up on time!

Anyway, I am doing something a little different from my usual this week to bring a Celebrity piece to your monitors! That is, a column about Celebrity, not a column which is actually a celebrity. I haven’t gone quite mad enough to start anthropomorphisising my articles. I think I might be making up words though, I’m not sure ‘anthropomorphisising’ actually exists.

To make up for the lovely Denesha’s absence, I shall be attempting to give you a little insight into the world of the celebrity from my perspective, you’d think this would offer me a little less soapbox-y, but I shall me challenging that assertion forthwith.

Being a film buff, I’m going to start with the Oscars. Being effeminate, I’m going to start with the fashion.
I thought Meryl Streep’s bohemian look was gorgeous, and though the general reaction to it has been negative, I really like the “Charity Shop Chic” look. My favourite dress of the evening was definitely Gwyneth Paltrow’s though. It was stunning and the detail in it was incredible. I almost feel the need to add something like “It’d look better on my bedroom floor” to re affirm my masculinity but I am above such crudity.
This years strangest choice, without a shadow of a doubt, was Jennifer Hudson’s dress. More specifically – this years strangest choice, without a shadow of a doubt, was Jennifer Hudson’s COLLAR. To say it didn’t quite work in the context of the outfit is like saying Hitler didn’t quite work in the context of German race-relations. Losing it would have given her a pleasant, if unremarkable outfit, but the inclusion of it made her look rather more like a Barbarella reject on the crew of the Voyager.

More important, though are the awards. The Departed was a worthy winner of Best Picture, though I’d have rather seen The Queen take the ward, mostly because I thing it was a more daring film than The Departed from a commercial viewpoint, but party because it would be a good, if temporary boost for British filmmaking. Given the nominated competition, Scorsese deserved his Best Director award.

I’m sort of glad Pan’s Labyrinth didn’t win Best Foreign Language film, because I’d feared it relatively wide release might have given it a boost, and deprived other films of a well deserved viewing. That said I can’t actually comment on whether the winner was the right one having not seen that film. I was glad to see it win the award for Best Cinematography though, because the film is beautifully shot and a treat for the eyes.

Happy Feet annoys me some what, and I’d have much rather seen that award go to Cars, but what can you do? The inclusion of three songs from Dreamgirls in Best Original song was more than a little unnecessary. Luckily none of them won. An Inconvenient Truth took Best Documentary and I have no complaints about that. I’ve made my views on that subject quite clear and the more that can be done to disseminate that information the better. That Al Gore can be entertaining was also a revelation which probably deserves an Oscar in its self.

That’s really all the opinion I have on the awards them selves, but I think this years Oscars highlighted that this year has been a fairly mediocre year for film, but the promise is there for better things to come this year. Hot Fuzz has already struck a blow to Hollywood with what is little less than a master class in how to do comedy, something that is generally failed miserably at. This summer promises a gargantuan struggle for takings, but I can’t help thinking that the law of diminishing returns dictates PotC3 will be dire. Spiderman is a slightly different kettle of fish, in that the super hero movie is still being pushed by the studios, but I sure am glad I’m not writing it because I don’t know how they can drive the plot any further. That said, it’s action and as long as they can include a good villain and shoot it well. Shrek 3 is piquing my interest most. I honestly think they can carry on that line for ever, if they can find enough good writers to write it. Having said that, it’s writing and wit is all it has, so if they get wrong it will be spectacularly bad. And it has to be resented a little bit for the plethora of goddamn awful animated animal buddy flicks it’s spawned.

I have been watching surprisingly little TV recently, so the only thing I am going to ORDER you to watch is Skins. Actually, I’m not, because it’s a very marmite programme, but I’m loving it. It’s witty and quickly and mixes styles of comedy really well. The characters are actually quite real (although that could well be a more telling critique of my circle of friends that of the programme), if a little exaggerated for comic effect occasionally. In addition, I have fallen in love with Cassie far more than is healthy for a TV character, but there’s not a single character I categorically dislike. So watch you should.

That rounds up my relatively short foray into the strange world of celebrity and TV and you shall see me return to my usual International News section on Thursday, during whihc I have an entire months worth of News to look at, punishment for my illness, which in turn is punishment for my heathen ways. I’ve rather enjoyed this.



  1. I agree on some points, good article.
    Although Pan’s Labyrinth did deserve best foreign language film, or if it didn’t the one that won must be one of the greatest movies ever created by mere mortals. I havent seen cars or happy feet but still feel that monster house was a strong contender?

    Comment by George — February 27, 2007 @ 2:04 pm | Reply

  2. I don’t understand, what is this fascination with Cassie?! Apparently people in my sister’s year have actually said that they’d be anorexic to be like her. I mean, obviously they wouldn’t (or at least I hope not) but I don’t understand why ANYONE would want to be like her- she’s just so irritating!!! Michelle is a much better character, dammit 😛

    I really need to see The Queen and Pan’s Labyrinth. I have a feeling my reading week will not really be used for reading…

    Comment by amyfeldman — February 27, 2007 @ 4:24 pm | Reply

  3. No Amy! You’re so wrong, she’s lovely.
    Anorexia is nothing to aspire to, but she’s so sweet and vulnerable, I want to protect her.

    Comment by Phil — February 27, 2007 @ 6:18 pm | Reply

  4. I do love Cassie and Chris. They changed my opinion of the show, I’m just watching it for them at this point.As for dislikeable characters…Nicholas Hoult’s character is a cardboard cut out cunt.I went a little bit alliteration happy there but its true, nevertheless.

    Comment by denesha — February 27, 2007 @ 7:45 pm | Reply

  5. Tony reminds me almost entirely of my best friend. Everything he does I can imagine my friend doing to (and to me) so I sort of see a bit of my life in there.

    Chris is great, every scene with him in makes me giggle.

    Comment by Phil — February 27, 2007 @ 11:13 pm | Reply

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