The Patch

April 10, 2007

Tuesday 10th April 2007.

Filed under: UK News — Claire @ 6:35 pm

You’re a dirty wilfer. You’re wilfing right now, aren’t you? Despicable! And you’re not alone, news this week says that the average Briton wastes two days a month having a wilf. Men are bigger wilfers than women, and 2 thirds of Brits have admitted to it.

No, wilfing isn’t some sort of sordid sexual act. Well, not in this context. Click more, I know you want to.

So wilfing, what is it? It’s a lovely term acronymed (if that’s a word) from ‘What was I looking for?’. You’ve had a bit of a wilf today, I bet. Wandering aimlessly round the net looking at random pages for reasons you aren’t actually sure of instead of doing that essay you’ve been putting off, that form you’ve been meaning to fill in or that e-mail you ought to have replied to.

I’m a serial wilfer. Many’s the day since I got my trusty laptop that I will sit at it staring at the screen looking on eBay for shoes I know I don’t need, or writing nonsense on internet forums rather than starting the Sociology essay that was due in two weeks ago. Yep, I do enjoy a good wilf, and I’m not alone. The lovely Yahoo informs me that wilfing is something we UK-ites spend two days a month doing, with a quarter of us saying we spend 30% or more of our net time wandering about in the internet wilderness without any purpose at all.

The survey, on behalf of some broadband website (yes, it’s all about the accurate reporting on The Patch, kids) also says that men believe a good wilf might be harming their relationship. That will be down to all the porn, then.

Indeed, I found my story today by wilfing, oh the irony! I get distracted by all the pretty shiny links the internet has to offer all the time and end up reading about David Tennant on Wikipedia when I really should be concerning myself with Karl Marx.

There’s help at hand though, promises “British television’s ‘lifestyle coach’, Pete Cohen”, (who I’ve never actually heard of, by the way). Yes, good old Pete says non-wilfing can be achieved through a mixture of “willpower and planning”. Well I never…

So Patchers, are you willing to own up to your wilfing habit? C’mon, we can form a support group. Wilfers Anonymous, anyone?

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