The Patch

April 14, 2009

Tuesday 14th April 2009.

Filed under: Celebrity/TV,UK News — Claire @ 3:32 pm

Hello there. Doubtlessly, very few people probably read this blog anymore, but I needed a rant and thought this was the place. So, blog necro I shall, because I can.

The reason I need to rant is summarised here. Yes, having your wife die of cancer apparently absolves you of all sins if you believe the tabloids. If your clicking finger has failed you, let me summarise.

Jack Tweed, professional hanger on and husband of the late Saint Jade of Bermondsey has been sentenced today to twelve weeks imprisonment for what The Sun admits was a ‘vicious assault’ of a taxi driver in May last year. Despite this, there is an incredibly sympathetic air to the above article, with Tweed being pitied as ‘grief-stricken’ and ‘tender’ in his nursing of his terminally diseased wife.

The main bugbear for me is how it seems to gloss over the violence that Tweed committed purely on the basis of who he was married to. This is wrong. If you commit a crime, you deserve the punishment. In Tweed’s case, the crime was commited previous to his now wife’s medical problems, and therefore cannot justifiably be used as an excuse for his actions. Whilst it is obviously sad that a man has become a widower at 21, it should never be a reason why he should be given special treatment when it comes to the law. The fact is that this is a man who, whoever he is now, has seriously injured two people through no fault of their own. Since when is it OK to gloss over that just because you’re in the papers a bit?

A secondary issue is why this man is excused from questioning for his post-Goody actions. If someone you knew went out for a Chinese the night after their wife died, would you not question the genuinity of their love for that person? Would you not think it was a bit off for them to be going to a theme park with a glamour model a week after her funeral? I would hope so, and yet because it’s Jack Tweed, it’s put down to grief. Call me cynical, but it makes me feel like he is using her death as an excuse, that he saw an opportunity to be absolved for his actions by marrying with a dying woman.

It all makes me a bit angry. The Saint Jade saga in general has had that effect on me, if I’m honest. It’s the change from complete vilification to Princess Diana like adoration which is now being transferred into pity for a violent criminal. So what if Tweed has changed since then? He still did those things. And there is no telling whether he even has changed. Are we supposed to believe it just because he supposedly cared for a terminally ill woman? Can we even believe that that happened, considering his actions since his wife’s death?

Soft soaping of idiots in the media shouldn’t be happening. It gives the message that it’s OK to hit a bloke with a golf club if you have a famous dead wife, or that it’s OK to be a racist when you get cancer. Anyone with sense probably knows that it’s not. But then, such people are probably about 1% of The Sun’s readership. And it’s nobody’s fault but theirs for buying it.


August 1, 2007

Wednesday 1st August- Some things change, others stay the same.

Filed under: Celebrity/TV,International News,Politics,UK News — denesha @ 1:58 pm

On the 1st August 2007, Gordon Brown obtained a moral and foreign policy victory during his visit to the States, by securing enough votes to send a 26000 strong UN peacekeeping force to Sudan. Of course, there needs to be a political solution to the problem to ensure a lasting peace and hopes run high for a meeting between the warring factions on Friday and the deployment of these troops was indeed watered down to suit the Chinese government’s interests in Sudan. However, it is undeniable that the deployment of these troops is the most progress the international community has made in stopping what key political figures have been referring to as genocide for the past two years. The ethnic cleansing of Sudan by the Janjaweed rebel forces has been going on for four years now and the 7000 strong African Union troops have been struggling to restore peace. The deployment of these troops marks a clear victory for Brown as the series of groundwork laid by foreign office staff in the run up to his visit to the UN and the personal intervention of Brown in persuading China to agree to the resolution, resulted in the most positive steps the UN has taken in alleviating the violence that has claimed at least 200 000 lives. Nevertheless, the success was limited as the force does not have the power to disarm militias or track suspected war criminals, and Brown’s threat of implementing UN sanctions if the Sudanese government failed to comply was omitted from the resolution. The UN troops will be the largest peacekeeping force in the world and will be mainly drawn from African nations, thus removing a key factor behind the Sudanese government’s initial opposition to the force. The meeting on Friday will hopefully result in a peace deal that will end the violence and allow the displaced refugees in the Darfur camps to return home in safety.

On the 1st August 2007, Perez Hilton wrote a blog post about a picture of Matthew Perry on which the celebrity blogger wrote ‘baked.’ This man (Perez Hilton, not Perry who is now my second favourite character on Studio 60) is the dregs of society yet is given money and attention from celebrities like Victoria Beckham to write his disgusting and sometimes, near illiterate, blog posts. His idea of news is scribbling on pictures of celebrities. Even my 6 year old niece has better writing skills than Hilton, and she spells my name as “Dhsd”. I refuse to link to his site as it offends me deeply and the man will not get any traffic from the Patch. It just makes me sad that on a day when a remarkable achievement has been made in ensuring peace in Sudan, there is someone out there who will never know because Perez Hilton chose to write about how ‘baked’ Matthew Perry looks. Cunt.

July 3, 2007

Tuesday 3rd July 2007.

Filed under: UK News — Claire @ 8:23 pm

As the more astute of you may be aware, the lovely Denesha is back. Whether this means an end to my frankly mediocre Celebrity/TV reports (sorry, very sorry) I am as yet unsure, but for this week, since I have become somewhat caught up in one of the UK’s most prominent news stories this past week, it seems like the natural thing to do to bore you lovely Patchers with it a little by returning to UK News reporting.

I speak of one of our favourite topics here in the UK, the weather. Over the last week, it’s hit the headlines here for all the wrong reasons. This is, of course, the floods which have desecrated parts of Northern England.


July 1, 2007

Sunday 1st July- Students of the world, REVOLT!

Filed under: International News,Miscellany,UK News — denesha @ 12:34 pm

I return to the Patch after being forced to divulge everything I know on History, English Literature and Chemistry in an exam hall on a booklet of paper under timed conditions. For you see, my little Patchers, I just completed my A levels. These little tests that most 18 year olds across the country sit, are designed to gauge how clever we are in certain subjects, after studying the subject intensively for two years. On the days leading up to the 16th August, these 18 year olds will read about how ‘easy’ A Levels are and pundits lamenting about how ‘back in the day’ (which day are these journalists referring to? Maybe it’s 23rd June 1980? Is that the day?!), they had it much harder. These pundits should be shot. Presumably, ‘back in the day’ (23rd June 1980), they didn’t have to pay top up frees, be thrown into a job market that believes it is saturated with graduates or live in an economy that makes first time buying near impossible. (more…)

May 9, 2007

Wednesday 9th May 2007.

Filed under: UK News — Claire @ 4:36 pm

Since it saddens me to think I stand accused of considering my lovely UK News too boring to contend with anymore, I have decided, as a ‘treat’ for any Patchers still visiting us (I say ‘treat’ because my ramblings can hardly be classed as a gift), to write about a UK News event which is currently in the press at the moment.

Yes, this is the shocking kidnap of 3-year-old Madeleine McCann, abducted during a holiday with family in Portugal’s Algarve 6 days ago.

April 16, 2007

Tuesday 17th April 2007.

Filed under: UK News — Claire @ 10:59 pm

Good day, Patchers. This week, the evils of essay writing have kidnapped me and diverted my attentions away from the lovely Patch. This is bad. But fear not, for the more than capable Andrew Clifton is here to fill in.

So, this week we lead with with a story we’re sure you’ve all heard (and laughed) about, that of Rachael Bell, 17, who advertised a house party on MySpace expecting 30 – 40 guests but ended up with more like 200, some coming all the way from London.

April 10, 2007

Tuesday 10th April 2007.

Filed under: UK News — Claire @ 6:35 pm

You’re a dirty wilfer. You’re wilfing right now, aren’t you? Despicable! And you’re not alone, news this week says that the average Briton wastes two days a month having a wilf. Men are bigger wilfers than women, and 2 thirds of Brits have admitted to it.

No, wilfing isn’t some sort of sordid sexual act. Well, not in this context. Click more, I know you want to.

April 4, 2007

Wednesday 4th April 2007.

Filed under: UK News — Claire @ 6:32 pm

Yes, I’m a day late. But since our International and Political correspondants appear to have gone AWOL I can at least try to fill the gaping hole left by their absence with some mindless UK News Rambling.

The biggest news in the UK this week was obviously that Tracy Barlow is guilty. Or so Radio 1 would have you believe. Yes, straying into Denesha territory here, and far beit for me to step on her pretty little toes, but I must say it’s for the best. If she’d got off, it’d have been a signal to women everywhere that bludgeoning your annoying other half with a 10 inch replica of Michelangelo’s David is socially acceptable. Which it’s not. Honest.

So, my actual story this week kind of links with my very first Patch article on one of my pet-rants, smoking. Rest easy, though, I’m not off on another whimsical adventure berating teenage smokers. No no, good Patchers, this week they are safe. ‘Tis the smoking ban I wish to bore you with today. Er..I mean entertain.

March 27, 2007

Tuesday 27th March 2007

Filed under: UK News — alice86 @ 7:42 pm

Perhaps the most interesting new item this week was that poet Carol Ann Duffy admitted to murder. Sorry, that’s not quite accurate. In fact, the murder in question was that of Paul Kelly, 32 in Bath, and the author of the poem now strewn about the city is…still unknown.

“The truth is there like an open grave, a defenceless man is dead and his blood’s gone cold, but the story of his end is going to be told….”With verse such as that, I’m unsurprised the author remains anonymous, though I daresay it’d liven up a GCSE anthology. BBC news (and the police) suggest that this literary masterpiece can help solve the tragic murder of the above father of two. However, if it has taken 35 detectives so far to attempt to interpret the subtle nuances veiled within Crimewatch’s newest public notice, why can’t they find something? Furthermore, 11 people so far have been arrested and released on bail or with no charge; if the poem is so transparent, why not ask school children to interpret it? They may have more luck with the innocence of youth and their taught notions of metaphors, similes and elegiac devices than the knowledgeable Bobbies. £10,000 is up for grabs for people with information about the murder, and apparently, the poem suggests (without use of imagery, rhyming couplets or alliteration) that several people “almost certainly know the identity of Paul Kelly’s killer”. And yet these people still are disinclined to ‘fess up their knowledge, just to let a family get some rest, grieve properly, and justice finally be served. Tragic. 

More breaking news from the BBC is that “poverty can do lasting damage to a child’s chance of progressing in life…” Yes. Though not everyone from poorer backgrounds can now afford to go to university (thank-you for our top up fees, Mr Blair, and thank-you for your wax-lyrical support to end poverty, MPs), afford a meal or school uniforms (not just due to the JSA benefit system being supremely poorly managed, incompetent and bunglingly inefficient), there are no safe outdoor play areas for them. Possibly because every spare bit of land has been commandeered for housing by Bovis, all the parks are packed with White Lightning swilling teens, and cars roam free range across the land. And because places like council estates are dismal, tarmacked areas potentially littered with spent needles and broken glass. We need to fix up our own country too. The old adage: the rich get richer whilst the poor grow malnourished and cannot even celebrate a family birthday has rung so true since before the Poor Law set in 1601 and children were forced to work. Yes, children in Africa and
India and other “third world” countries are worse off, but we need to do something about this in our country, here and now. The government’s target for this is 2020.

In other news, Heathrow’s Terminal 5 will now be hosting the FA Cup, and all matches leading up to it. 10 whole football pitches can fit in it, which should reduce some of the boredom faced by travellers attempting to check in when the next TERROR ALERT! means hours of delays, more stupid security checks (this has been modified into the new building, with a larger security desk! Oh my! Just think, a larger surface area can stop a bomb, anthrax or even a can of coca cola. Technology is amazing, these days.), though apparently “self service” means less queuing; as does the 94 baggage drops and 12,000 processed bags an hour. Yes, it’s amazing how innovative our methods of reducing global warming are these days, truly amazing.

March 19, 2007

Monday 19th March-How to improve football….

Filed under: Sport,UK News — triffid @ 6:22 pm

It seems to have been a major topic over the last couple of years, and particularly over the last few days when the Football League Chairman, Brian Mawhinney, put forward the proposal that there should no longer be any draws in English football. If teams were drawing after 90 minutes then they should decide the outcome via a penalty shootout. This idea appears to have been largely (and thankfully in this fan’s opinion) laughed off. However it has raised the debate about other ways in which the game could be improved. Here are some of the best and worst ideas that I have come across…

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